What Revolutionary Road Taught Me about Work and Life
A few days ago I watched a great movie: Revolutionary Road. The point of the movie is about finding happiness in your life – especially when you thought you were destined for greatness and your life is pretty normal. The leading male character (Leonardo DiCaprio) hates his job at the beginning of the movie, but after winging a project and getting praise for the results he suddenly takes a new interest in his career. Eventually he is so happy in the direction his career is going that he is actually satisfied with his “normal” life and abandons his dream of moving to the Paris and doing something he finds meaningful.
Wow – is that all it takes to be happy at work – a little praise? As I stated in an earlier post about the connection between happiness and job satisfaction you don’t have to have a perfect job to be happy with your life. If the only thing going wrong in our life is you don’t LOVE your job, then you are doing OK. But the man in this movie blames his boring job for his life being dull, and then when his job get’s better he expects his life to improve – and it doesn’t. What does that tell us? It tells me that if you want a truly fulfilling life than work is only one part of the equation. If you work for a company that makes boring software and you want to feel like you are making a difference in the world volunteer!
At the next party you attend listen to what people talk about. The people who seem happy don’t talk about work all that much do they? This is because they have other aspects of their life to talk about. Conversely, the people with the crappiest jobs talk about their work the most. Why is that? Because they feel like they aren’t happy so they feel like they need to “talk up” their job.
So here is my unsolicited advice for today, if you hate your job, if it really makes you miserable, get a new one. But don’t look for a new job to change your entire life for the better. I’ve heard so many people say it before, “if I can just find a new job I’ll be so much happier”. Then what happens, they get a new job, they are happy for about five months and they want a new job again. Because it is really their outside of work life that needs to be fixed, not their job. I know what this is like because I was one of those people who focused so much on finding the perfect job that I thought a new job would perfect my life. I still slip into this mode every once in a while, but for the most part I try to remember “you’ve got to love what it is and not hate what it isn’t”. Which means, learn to love your job for what it is and stop thinking about what it could be. Unless it is really a horrible job or you have a boss that treats you poorly, and as long as your job offers you challenges and opportunities to learn there your job is ok. If your job is ok but not exactly exciting, do things outside of work that are. There is no reason your job has to be your only source of joy. If your job is only good enough, make the rest of your life exceptional.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:18 PM
I agree, we all have different goals in life, but I trully believe that once we get to that point in our careers where we have to choose between your goals and your job, it is moment for you to fly solo and start your own job, with your rules in order to protect yourself and your family.
Might as well start early.
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:28 PM
This reminds me of a posting I did once about Cronus and TGIF.
July 24th, 2009 at 7:18 PM
Hey Frank,
I loved the movie Revolutionary Road, so when I saw your blog entry listed on Facebook I thought I should take a look. Many of my friends are dealing with the issues covered in this movie, and it is unfortunate that the anxieties of 1950s America are still strong in the population today.
Revolutionary Road can be made relevant to young professionals in numerous ways and I think there are a lot of lessons to be drawn, one of which you have outlined above. I will explore some other issues below, which will hopefully produce some food for thought.
I think the essence of the problem is that the characters of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio have been dragged into the American “dream,” without actively choosing it. They get married because that’s what society expects, move to the suburbs because Kate’s character gets pregnant and gradually exchange their vivacious personalities for dreary conformity. The movie captures their anguish at a point when they are both realizing the severity of a sequence of mistakes, which have lodged them in a structure whose rules and judgments are comparable to Victorian England with modern appliances.
Briefly put, both characters are stuck in a 1/3rd-life existential crisis and each have their own ideas as to how to overcome it. Leo’s character is especially unimaginative in his existence, sustaining himself with a promotion rather than an overhaul of his life. He seeks a solution within the structure rather than overturning it. Kate’s character is much more revolutionary and proposes a life change that runs counter to the ideals of idyllic but conservative 50s America. The plan switches around the provider in the house, involves moving to another country and in the end, is too much for Leo’s character to stomach. He sells his dream for a raise, settling for compromise rather than risk.
Moving to the present day, the lessons from the rather tragic story hold true. Sketch your own journey in life and be prepared to make risky changes if necessary. When you hit a dead-end, delete and resketch. You’ll notice that Leo’s character does anything but determine the direction of his life. He works at his company because his father worked there. Even his promotion is by accident, arising from a joke rather than any passion or effort. Too many of my friends have followed convention in making career choices. They all seek the prestigious corporate job as if it were some holy grail. Not surprisingly, most are unhappy, having gone with the flow rather than causing a splash of their own. Society’s definition of “prestigious” is vague and rarely suits individual needs.
In short, conformity is the easiest track you can take. The most difficult part of establishing a career is getting to know yourself, researching the marketplace and choosing the best job for your personality and skills, no matter what your parents, coworkers, neighbors or society in general think. Ultimately, if you are Kate Winslet’s character, it is a mistake to choose the life of a housewife in suburban America, even if everyone else is doing it.