Comments on: Is this sexual harassment?

By: Should I report this? | Young and Employed

Should I report this? | Young and Employed — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:18:33 +0000

[...] information about what you should do if you feel you are a victim of sexual harassment. But how are you supposed to know if something is sexual harassment? The definition varies widely because it can’t be perfectly defined. It depends on the parties [...]

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 02:43:16 +0000

@Frank
I didn’t take it as harassment when you told me you really liked my heels–it’s nice to hear those things once in a while! Most guys don’t appreciate good shoes, haha. BTW, my dog subsequently chewed those ones up

By: tess

tess — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 14:45:56 +0000

Jessica, thank you for validating my feelings. I did talk to my boss about these feelings. I wrote everything down in writing and had him read it then he “talked with” me about it. He pretty much tried to tell me that I had no reason to feel that way. In fact, his words were “Did you ever stop to think that that is just my way of harmless bantering?” To which I replied “Yes, I did and I think it may be but women do not appreciate those comments.” He then told me that he thought that I wasn’t really upset about this situation but about other issues regarding bonuses and pay raises so I just added this in there.” The very next day he was back at remarking about the female employees’ appearances.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 01:22:14 +0000

@Tess – I am not a lawyer nor am I an employment law expert, but I have to say that your boss’s comments would make me uncomfortable too, and I think it would make most women uncomfortable. I’m not sure how you would feel about talkig to him about these remarks, but he should know that you are uncomfortable. Does anyone else have any suggestions?

I would like to add, that these types of comments not only make you uncomfortable, but also makes you wonder if you are taken seriously as a professional – and that is why sexual harassment laws were created.

By: tess

tess — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:03:37 +0000

My boss has always made remarks about the female employees clothing in our office (there are only 3 of us). Comments like “Wow, look who’s the fashionista today!” or “Wow, look who’s trying to win a beauty contest, today”. He is also always making comments to women over the phone, such as “I’ll let you get away with that because you have such a wonderful phone voice”. Or he will talk about some customer and then say “She’s really cute!”. These comments have always made me a little uncomfortable. But one day, when I said I had 2 appointments at the clinic I had to leave early for, he questioned why 2 appointments so I explained that one was with my doctor and one was for a mamogram. He then said “Did I forget to tell you, I can do mamograms.” I was shocked, appalled, and angry. This gave way to kind of a shaky feeling and sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I get this feeling every time he comes near me, now, and whenever he makes comments like he had previously which used to only make me mildly uncomfortable. Is it ridiculous for me to feel this way. Am I overreacting? Is it sexual harrassment?

By: Meredith

Meredith — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:06:43 +0000

@Addie – I’m certainly not suggesting that people push the envelope in the work place. If someone doesn’t like another person’s behavior at work, they should feel they can say something without fear of repercussion, and the other person should be sensitive to the issue going forward. Hopefully, that’s enough to correct any issue. However, I do take a little bit of issue with your comment about there not being a reasonableness standard. If it’s always harassment when someone thinks it is harassment, then an accuser would always be right – that’s potentially unfair. We’ve seen cases in which accusers were actually found by a court of law to be lying about their accusations. Investigation to determine whether harassment actually occurred is a very important part of this process. If there is no black and white answer, the concept of reasonableness must be used in order to determine a resolution.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:14:38 +0000

@addie,
Thank you for this information. I think it is helpful becuase this type of behavior still exists and few young women know where to turn or what to do. The type of sexual harassment I am interested in is the more sublte kind. The kind that consists of inappropriate comments about clothing, a co-workers appearance (whether they are hot or not etc.) and so on. These do create a hostile work environment but they aren’t as clear cut as “if you don’t do this, I’ll fire you,” statements.

By: Addie

Addie — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:09:18 +0000

So from a legal standpoint in the state of MA “In Massachusetts, the legal definition for sexual harassment is this: “sexual harassment” means sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when:

(a) submission to or rejection of such advances, requests or conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of employment or as a basis for employment decisions; or,

(b) such advances, requests or conduct have the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual’s work performance by creating an intimidating, hostile, humiliating or sexually offensive work environment.

Under these definitions, direct or implied requests by a supervisor for sexual favors in exchange for actual or promised job benefits such as favorable reviews, salary increases, promotions, increased benefits, or continued employment constitutes sexual harassment.

The legal definition of sexual harassment is broad and in addition to the above examples, other sexually oriented conduct, whether it is intended or not, that is unwelcome and has the effect of creating a work place environment that is hostile, offensive, intimidating, or humiliating to male or female workers may also constitute sexual harassment.

While it is not possible to list all those additional circumstances that may constitute sexual harassment, the following are some examples of conduct which if unwelcome, may constitute sexual harassment depending upon the totality of the circumstances including the severity of the conduct and its pervasiveness:

*Unwelcome sexual advances — whether they involve physical touching or not;
*Sexual epithets, jokes, written or oral references to sexual conduct, gossip regarding one’s sex life; comment on an individual’s body, comment about an individual’s sexual activity, deficiencies, or prowess;
*Displaying sexually suggestive objects, pictures, cartoons;
*Unwelcome leering, whistling, brushing against the body, sexual gestures, suggestive or insulting comments;
*Inquiries into one’s sexual experiences; and,
Discussion of one’s sexual activities.”

In addition to the above, if you believe you have been subjected to sexual harassment, you may file a formal complaint with either or both of the government agencies set forth below. Using our complaint process does not prohibit you from filing a complaint with these agencies. Each of the agencies has a short time period for filing a claim (EEOC – 300 days; MCAD – 300 days).

1. The United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (“EEOC”)

2. The Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination (“MCAD”)

Because when you start to talk legal you need to be very careful what you say. Reasonable is not mentioned in these writings because if you feel you are being sexually harassed, then that is it – there should not and is not a reasonable line – simply stated one persons flattery is anothers harassment – be careful who you pay compliments to.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:51:41 +0000

@Jessica – good questions along the lines of “if a tree falls in the woods and no one’s there to hear it…” Who decides what’s reasonable in a court case is a judge or a jury. Who decides what’s reasonable at work is probably HR or Legal, and cascaded down by management (example or otherwise, at least that’s supposed to be how it works). In reality, no one’s behavior gets corrected unless someone complains. Your hypothetical about someone who makes a comment like “you look hot!” wouldn’t get to complaint stage because it’s welcomed by the recipient. Likewise, consentual relationships in the workplace don’t constitute harrassment. Keep up the good work on your blog – even we older folks find it interesting.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:19:21 +0000

@Meredith- that is a great point. there are plenty of overly sensitive people out there who would be made uncomfortable by any comment. The problem is, who is the standard for a reasonable person? From my vague understanding of law this isn’t just a problem in sexual harassment cases, it can be a problem in all sorts of cases. Who defines reasonable? The question becomes then, if someone makes a comment like “you look hot!” and the recipient likes the comment is it still sexual harassment because most people wouldn’t welcome that kind of remark at work?